2002 JUN 14 THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH

Somewhere along the way, someone on the Portuguese national team must have defiled a person of deep religious and/or spiritual significance. Because, as it seems, only the "Hand of God" could have saved them from the (gentle) wrath of the Koreans.

It's silly when you think about it: So much hoo-hah! for twenty-two men in knee-high socks, with strikingly vulnerable genitalia, being watched and cheered on by a rabid gallery of seemingly pre-historic hooligans bringing out such emotion in a human being. It's absolutely ridiculous. But that's it, you know—that's what rocks the joint. The fact that I sit there at the edge of my seat at 8:35AM and, upon the signal of one Park Ji Sung, leap up and shout, with all intensity, "HELL MOTHAFUCKIN' YEAH, BABY!"

Unfortunately, a neighbor or two may have been awakened in the process. For that, we apologize.