2002 JUN 25 SOMETHING LIKE A HEART ATTACK (OR LOSING HEART)

Right now, it feels like I've lost my right leg to an electronic conspiracy.

At approximately 1PM this afternoon, my primary computer's hard drive died. Or so I'm led to believe by the obsidian faced circuitry that restricts access to my livelihood. And yeah, I guess it's cute, funny, whatever that this is such a striking matter to me, but it is. I mean, I had so much in there, more in there than anywhere else except my head. I'm broken.

This does two things: Obviously, I'm thinking I can easily move on. Sure, that'd be easy. I mean, material things like games or music or silly stuff like that is no problem. But over the last month or so, I've been working on portfolio material that would hopefully have landed me a job or something to that effect. Something that would help me get where I want to go. But now, I'm back at square one. Or, if not one, close to it. I've got nothing. Clean and squared, I'm lost and confused. This is all very depressing.

In shock and horror after realizing that I'm unable to access my data, I simply planted myself in front of the television and watched an hour of the Disney Channel. You wouldn't think so, but kiddy-like charm comforts you in some strange ways. I guess it lets you forget the trickier, more practical things about life.

It's had one interesting effect: Knowing I've "fallen behind" now, I'm in a position to force myself to accelerate my workload, do what I need to do to get where I want, and do it faster. More effort, more work, more everything. This is killing me like you wouldn't believe, but who knows, maybe it's some sort of blessing in disguise. (It's always nice to believe in that sort of stuff, right?)

I'm going to go enjoy the summer weather now. Or try to. It's blistering heat and the humidity doesn't help. But yeah, at least the sun's tantric rays help you forget about your current situation. Something like that. Yeah.

2002 JUN 23 RANDOM NEURONAL INTERCEPTIONS

· Minority Report was a near-classic, except that it had one major fault: Spielberg. 70% of the film was classic Philip K. Dick a-la Kubrick, sliding left and right, keeping my attention fourfold until, of course, the moment Spielberg decided that, "Hey, our audience is stupid and we need to give them closure in life by explaining every fucking thing in the film. Yeah, so let's do that!" The man doesn't understand what subtlety means; or, for that matter, the fact that some things are better left unexplained.

· As with Portugal, as with Italy and now with Spain, Korea's black magic has worked. They've got something up their sleeves to make sure that perfect shots don't go in, that heroic players suddenly show their faults, that referees get blinded (albeit, that may be due to the overwhelming power of the "Red Devil"). There's something beautiful happening in the Land of the Kimchi, and personally, I'm all for it. My fascination with Korean football is over a decade old, going back to the days when my father's business partners and I would discuss Bangladesh-Korea matchups. But with the elderly men from Deutschsland up next, one can only wish for another great play by the Hand of... the Red Devil? We'll see: After all, before the World Cup began, I had a strange and unsettling dream that Germany would win it all this year.

· Anyone who commits murder under the name of God is committing the ultimate sin. End of story.

· I'm so utterly fascinated with the William Gibson Tokyo of tomorrow that sometimes I'd like to dissolve into his pages and become one with the magnetic world, which is, of course, ironic since I haven't finished reading any of his books. But the whole idea of that other world, in the land of the rising run where Hello Kitty vibrators are commonplace and an uber-DoCoMo-styled inter-shogunate network is about to be created for all psychoneurotelepathic activities so you'd never need phones and girls who don't exist are always there for you— they're all oh so exciting.

· Someone hook me up with a job please. Thank you and I love you all.