i was pushing a shopping cart at a safeway and i hit some old lady and she got pissed off at me. i was like only eight or something but she didnt care and when she saw me again she yelled at my parents and told them i was a bad kid and that my parents were bad parents.
see, that wasnt cool at all.
last week i saw her at a whataburger swallowing down three or four whataburgers and whatachickens at once and she looked mean. i went up to her and shoved my tray in her chest and she was like what the fuck and i was like remember me and she had no idea who i was. i didnt want to really hurt her cause im not an animal or anything but i wanted to get back at her for calling my parents bad parents cause theyre not. so i took her soda and plopped it down her dress which made her get wet and start screaming cause it was cold and the ice was probably making her all weird and tingly and stuff.
she starting yelling at me and tried to slap me but im bigger now im not eight anymore so i ran and ran and ran far away. i dont think ill ever see her again but its ok because at the worst i know that shes never gonna mess with me again.
the next time i saw my mom i said mom i love you and the next time i saw my dad i said dad youre a good dad. i meant it too.