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Yesterday’s Girl

After our encounter, it’s hard to tell you long-winded stories about how I feel for you. From the moment I saw you three years ago, you took my breath away. And no matter what anyone else said, I always believed there was something there, hidden like diamonds in a coal mine, that I would unearth and claim as mine. A few months ago, I felt like I received a glimpse of that angelic feel; but maybe it was premature. Maybe it was me thinking in a state of delusion.

Two weeks ago, I told you how I felt in a moment of idiocy. And it wasn’t meant to be, somehow and someway. The time wasn’t right, the place was wrong and the atmosphere reeked of inadequacy. But I ventured forth hoping for a miracle, one that wasn’t meant to occur.

And seeing you tonight, dressed up in silver like an ornament, gave me warnings of a lost winter. It’s almost as if I went into hibernation and woke up in the spring, missing you totally, even fatally. It’s kind of sad, definitely brutal and evermore disappointing.

So, I sit here, wondering the words I would say to you, in one concise sentence, that would convey to you everything that I feel for you, the urges I get and the maddening sequences of heartbreak that tear through my cranial landscape.

But I don’t think I can say what I want to in that short a sentence. I feel at times that you may mean more than that to me, and I don’t want to shortchange something so precious. A momentary glimpse from you breaks my heart, because you put me in a place where I can’t respond. What I want to say to you, I’ve said right here. I have no regrets but the ones that evaporate with these words I speak.

You and I are simple; the complexity of our relationship is superficial. The terms we never agreed to are imaginary, and for that I will forever hold you in my thoughts.