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2001.04.30 ++ BEFORE THE KIMCHI CAME
It's amazing what you're reminded of at 1:30 in the morning.
When I was attending Kindergarten 1 to P-2 at Willis Little Flower School in Bangladesh, there was this one mini-cafe type deal I used to hang at after school. With my mother.
It was her who would nearly always pick me up from school, call the rickshaw and point it to the cafe.
It's name was simply, "Coffee Parlour."
I used to always order "corn soup," which was basically egg drop soup with chicken but NO corn. I'd throw in about 3 cups of ketchup, tons of black pepper and voila! This was a near daily thing that my mother and I shared. Some sort of maternal moment of connectivity.
"Corn soup," in its many forms found in chinese restaurants and houses of relatives alike, is probably the only food that I can think of that reminds me of my mother every time. I guess it was just our thing.
2001.04.28 ++ YOU WOULDN'T KNOW
// i'm not really sure
// if i wanna give my heart away
2001.04.25 ++ THE INVERSION HYPOTHESIS
Telling a girl you like her is not rocket science. But that's what we make it out to be.
One of these days, we'll realize it's far simpler (and arguably better) to be upfront.
But that day is far away. And so let the games continue.
2001.04.24 ++ STATEMENT OF RELATIVITY
If I can understand you, you're boring.
Talk about the downfall of mankind: We all want challenges, but when we're faced with a situation we completely comprehend, we find it "boring" and thus give it less attention, a half-assed effort, a pat on the back that says, "It's okay, I'm just better than you."
And that's fine.
There's a happy medium between understanding and not; usually we lie in ambiguity trying to fake our way through, knowing that eventually we're going to succumb to our own charlatan truths. But it's a chance we continue to take because we feel that we can extend our reach past our natural contours.
And that's fine.
Pop Culture Phenonemom #1: Incoherency = Genius.
I don't understand you. You must be cool.
Can I ask you questions? I want to know what you don't. But you don't want to answer?
The theory is that you can never respect someone who thinks you're amazing. There's a level ground between you and I and once you tell me that I'm better than you, that thought will be ingrained in my head, and I will be better than you.
Do you understand me? No? So am I not boring? Or am I a genius?
Our lives are relative, and that makes our opinions truths.
And that's just fine.
2001.04.23 ++ OF A PARABOLIC NATURE
She's one of those girls that makes your heart faint.
Can be good, can be bad, but always remembered.
IMAGE / SOURCE: Gong Li / Shanghai Triad.
2001.04.22 ++ SIMPLETON'S COMPLEXITIES
I'm sick.
SOURCE: Me this morning / The last words in End of Evangelion.
2001.04.22 ++ THEORETICS OF A SOUL
There is comfort in someone who believes you can improve upon your past.
2001.04.21 ++ OF MELANCHOLY PERFECT
// I Love You.
// No.
2001.04.20 ++ DAYS OF BEING WILD
When I was young, I wished for more attention. To actually get that attention, I would do things that I felt were stupid and outrageous, such as throwing 7up bottles into crowded streets filled with people, watching the glass shards splay on the ground and then laughing. I know now that that theory still works. I know she does too.
IMAGE / SOURCE: Brigitte Lin / Chungking Express.
2001.04.18 ++ ON THE PRODIGAL PLAIN
| Teams |
|
Frags
|
Deaths
|
Ping
|
| |
|
|
|
|
| CT (5 Players) |
WINS = 1
|
|
|
68
|
| [A-Factor]Chauncey |
|
9
|
8
|
42
|
| [A-Factor]ralgoth |
|
8
|
16
|
35
|
| [A-Factor]DE-42 |
|
8
|
17
|
138
|
| [A-Factor]Apostle |
|
7
|
16
|
69
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| [A-Factor]D!ablo |
|
6
|
17
|
60
|
| |
|
|
|
|
| Terrorist (5 Players) |
WINS = 16
|
|
|
78
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| [sG]-MadCamper |
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21
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6
|
59
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| [sG]-Falc0n |
|
19
|
10
|
176
|
| [sG]-Biometrika |
|
14
|
8
|
61
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| [sG]-mUTINY |
|
14
|
9
|
45
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| [sG]-Cybertom |
|
12
|
10
|
49
|
SOURCE: C:\Half-Life\de_prodigy0001.bmp // Home of the SuperGhetto.
2001.04.17 ++ NEANDERTHAL REPERCUSSIONS
One of these days, I'll learn not to fool myself into believing that I can take a quick "20 minute nap" at 6AM.
2001.04.16 ++ FAKE YELLOW LIGHT
I once told her, "I want to come to New York so I can see you again."
I don't think she believed me.
I wish she had.
2001.04.15 ++ AURAMORPHOUS DIGITALIS
The main reason I repost entries is because there are times I'll sit in order to express something I'm feeling, and then realize to myself, "Hey, I've written about this before." So, I just go ahead and post the old entry. I figure it's better to repost verbatim than to write something "new" that end up highly resembling something old. It kind of misses the point of originality.
Tonight, watching Namie Amuro's music video for "Never End," I realized I wanted to write about how I love the music, yet I don't understand most of what she says. Then I realized I've written about it already. The past entry is a bit more metaphorical than how I'm feeling now, but that's fine. That's me.
++
I don't understand a word you say, yet everything sounds beautiful. A melodic rhyme of consonants and vowels in a language undecipherable by my brain. The voice is your weapon; you are the temptress.
I'm on the outside looking in; Let me in.
Scenario II: Let me be your obi. Let me wrap around your waist like a slithering snake, enrapturing your heart and crystallizing your thoughts so they last forevermore.
After all, freeze frames supply the greatest of joys.
Butterfly: metamorphosize. In a mode of deception, the skin falls away. We've got a brand new being, a winner, a fortune teller's victory (as she creeps out the back door). Hail now, will you, to the thieves that take away the synthetic from the night. Hail now to the foreign bodied thieves that do create the unnatural for your surreal pleasure.
In that, the barren night }——
——{ your lunar voice comes, plays and holds me still: a neo-nexus.
SOURCE: 2000.09.19: Stereophonic Child, Inc., Dequinix.com 3.0 / 75 Third Avenue.
2001.04.14 ++ BLACK & BLACK
Ay, that I had not done a thousand more.
Even now I curse the day—and yet, I think,
Few come within the compass of my curse,—
Wherein I did not some notorious ill,
As kill a man, or else devise his death,
Ravish a maid, or plot the way to do it,
Accuse some innocent and forswear myself,
Set deadly enmity between two friends,
Make poor men's cattle break their necks;
Set fire on barns and hay-stacks in the night,
And bid the owners quench them with their tears.
Oft have I digg'd up dead men from their graves,
And set them upright at their dear friends' doors,
Even when their sorrows almost were forgot;
And on their skins, as on the bark of trees,
Have with my knife carved in Roman letters,
'Let not your sorrow die, though I am dead.'
Tut, I have done a thousand dreadful things
As willingly as one would kill a fly,
And nothing grieves me heartily indeed
But that I cannot do ten thousand more.
SOURCE: Titus Andronicus, William Shakespeare // Aaron, Titus.
2001.04.13 ++ FILIFINO FATALE
She's the kind of girl who likes cutting lunch. She'll head into the library, thinking of formulas and schedules. She'll tip up her black-rimmed glasses before opening the door, making sure they won't fall as the wind blows past. She'll act nonchalant toward her surroundings: There are priorities in this world, after all.
She's the kind of girl I fall in love with, the ones who don't think twice about their surroundings. There's an attractive force in that ignorance, a force that justifies all the greetings not taken notice of, a force that justifies all the initiated eye contacts not recriprocated.
She's the kind of girl who I want sit with at 2am on the corner of Waverly and Sixth, drinking coffee and talking about how her eyes are sparkling and how my lips need hers. The moment I have the chance to take her hand in mine, I will: And all else from then on will be history.
She's the kind of girl I'll never find, and if I do, I'll get down and promise to her that I'll never let her go. And if she tries to run away, I won't hold her down: A girl needs her independence. And hopeless romantics need their dreams.
SOURCE: 2000.11.13: Cutting Lunch, Dequinix.com 4.0 / Pop Culture Phenomenon.
2001.04.12 ++ LET THEM HEADS ROLL
Dear Elections,
You made me be what I didn't want to be.
I would like my innocence back.
Thanks.
2001.04.11 ++ IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE
The rain likes to pour over shoulders. The moon comforts the rain by gleaming over it, making the droplets sparkle at an angle. All the while, the ground lays still, enjoying the massage of the heavens.
The glimmer in her eyes as she stood still, her flowered dress drenched, her heart on the ground, her soul on the airplane back to Brazil. The glimmer would tell you everything about her: secrets, passions, dreams and him.
"You're wet."
"I know."
His fingers twitched; slipped; fell onto her shoulder. She shook; turned; and the glimmer pierced through his eyes.
"You're cold."
"I know."
And she breathed. He held.
2001.04.10 ++ BE NICE FOR ONCE
Whoever stole my backpack, I'd like it back. Thanks.
2001.04.10 ++ EROSION STATISTICS
The idea behind the relatively new mathematical areas of fractal geometry and chaotic dynamics is the everlasting search to find a sort of order in the midst of the chaos that exists in this universe. Some believe that it is possible to find an equation for all sorts of randomness that occurs in our lives—It is quite possible there may exist an equation that may tell us exactly what type of weather we may experience forever. Of course there is always a trick:
These equations which can be created are quite sensitive: even the slightest of numeric diversions may cause the predictions to go awry, maybe after a week, a month, a year, or more—quite unpredictable in the long run.
But this theory of possible order within the random chaos brings us to this point:
If I happen to be looking for you, and you happen to be looking for me, and neither of us have knowledge of who exactly we are looking for, is there some computable, numeric, mathematical explanation of where and how to find each other?
SOURCE: 1999.03.17: Shall We Dance?, Dequinix.com 1.0 / Obsidian in Amber 2.
2001.04.09 ++ IN A WORLD OF CHANCES
A fellow will remember a lot of things you wouldn't think he'd remember. You take me. One day, back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on the ferry, and as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in, and on it there was a girl waiting to get off. A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn't see me at all, but I'll bet a month hasn't gone by since that I haven't thought of that girl.
SOURCE: Bernstein, Citizen Kane. 2001.04.09 ++ JUST LIKE HEAVEN
You never seem to miss people until you realize that they're living their lives (without you).
2001.04.08 ++ MERCURIAL VERBALISMS
little hand hits the 6, ready to mix?
another alchemist for hire, he'll make you fire,
gold, silver, and other metals abound,
his blunt, red elixirs are gonna take you higher;
melancholy distastefulness, a breeze that won't budge,
pavement broken into pieces, mud that's looking like fudge;
tripping on a totem pole, got a wire in your ear,
hollering beats, trampling sheets,
in your head, there's nothing but fear;
on a crystalline parabola,
you're swooning the moon,
reality's stake is left behind,
a pseudo-ornate world's coming soon;
word up to the prophetic visions
that you saw when you were 7,
waiting on the rabbit's tracks,
knowing you'd be going to heaven;
little hand hits the 9, is that you giving me the sign?
a thousand eighty degrees later, i'm sure you're feeling fine.
SOURCE: Dequinix WORD, 2000.02.15.
2001.04.06 ++ HARBINGER OF DEVOTION II
DW3CF-D7KYR-KMR6C-3X7FX-T8CVM
2001.04.05 ++ THE SHEEP THAT GOT AWAY
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
Time to die.
SOURCE: Roy Batty, Blade Runner.
2001.04.05 ++ ROY BATTY TAKES HIS CUE
I remember when I was in grade school student back in the day. I had a friend named Eric who had this amazing vision of a distant future filled with hatred for the proletariat. A time where the government forced the society to think in a homogenous manner. A place where language as we know it was dead, conspiracies ran rampant and "doublethink" was the order of the day. Odd, scary, but genius nonetheless.
Anyway, there was this girl we both liked. One day, I found out he was going to take her to prom. I didn’t like finding that out. I mean, this girl was amazing. She took my breath away from the moment I saw her. I think from then on, I had tried to gather to courage to ask her to the prom.
But Eric beat me to it. No, I didn’t like finding that out. Not at all.
One day, Eric told me to take the final version of his novel to the publishing office over in the next town. I had taken his first novel, something about pigs and horses, as well. Apparently he didn't like his name much and would use George to sound manly and all. So, in the process, he would make me his secretary so he could remain "anonymous."
As it happened, along the way to the publishing house, I opened up the package full of papers and went through it. Hell of a great story. But I wanted him to be wrong in what he said. Or something. I guess I just wanted to annoy him, at the very least. After all, I didn't like finding out about the girl. So I went through and changed all of his 20's to 19’s. I suppose I thought that a hundred years wouldn't make much difference, especially since it was still fifty years away.
Well, I’m alive now. He's not. I’m sure you’ve read his book. I know a lot of you think he was wrong. I don’t think he was, though. Just wait. We’ve got 83 years to go. He'll pull through. He'll make a believer out of all of you yet.
2001.04.04 ++ PRE-SYNTHETIK NOTIONS OF LIFE
Do you ever get that feeling when you know something great is about to come to an end? It's a feeling you don't want to experience, but inevitably will. In life, we have the sage saying "all things come to an end."—And I wonder if that's really the case. Do we truly not have the power to prolong? Sure we do—but we always have a limitation on how long.
In the end, nature limits science. That's the story for now and possibly for the future—
But maybe someday, we will have the power re-create an experience to its full extent. Maybe then we'll be able to let go easier knowing we have the experience "in-store." Maybe that should be mankind's ultimate goal—to extend ourselves, to extend our being, to extend our existence. This would leave us with no worries for another day, and taking another breath would be just so much easier.
SOURCE: 1999.04.19: Pragmatikal Scientifika, Dequinix.com 1.0 / Obsidian in Amber 2.
2001.04.03 ++ ADVANCED THEORY OF ACTION
// the opacity bind
// of a catalytic maneuver
// depends on the locale
// and the timing
// of where and how
// her heart floats
2001.04.03 ++ OVER THE RAINBOW
How come I don't see George Jetsons running amuck in Manhattan?
There's something in our dreams that tells us to dream bigger, faster, higher. And because of that, we do. And because of that, 50 years down the road, not only are we looking at the absence of George Jetson and the Family, but also the continuous attempt at deconstructing the space program and the apparently popular theory of, "Oh, No! The Moon Landing Was a Hoax!"
And it never ceases to amaze me. Not only do we dream beyond our capabilties, we also use our imagination to combat every oozing corner of every truth that has, in itself, a sour grapes' worth of vagueness.
Checkit: 3rd Grade. Here is little Rahat before Christmas break. This is more or less the first month he's been able to speak fluent English in his class. So yeh, bring on America, no? "What do you mean you don't know who Santa Claus is?"
What the hell. Of course, we had grandpas with beards who would bring us gifts come holiday time, but none of them would be on crack enough to dress up like a human Candy Cane of sorts. "No, I don't know. Who is he?"
I wrote a letter to Santa. I thought he was real. They had made me believe it. I asked for a Nintendo Entertainment System, a Sega Genesis, even a bloody Turbo Grafx 16 (who the hell remembers that?). Then on the way back from school that day, I asked my uncle about Santa. "Hahaha, no! He's not real! It's just one of those American things!"
There. I believed in Santa Claus for approximately 30 minutes of my life.
One of these days, we'll stop lying to our kids. Cause you know what, the boogie monster has become the media who makes us believe that Maryland has a hope of defeating Duke, that the Wildcats of Arizona are looking to pull off an upset. And one of these days, we'll all be betting for the Terrapins to win-- We'll throw down our money in the first half as they gain a double digit lead.
And then we'll all jump off cliffs when we realize that the boogie monster lied, that, in fact, Duke was going to win all along. That it had simply been a show. A mockery of the innocent spirit. A blasphemic notion proportionate to the amount of cheese found on what? The moon, of course. The moon.
2001.04.02 ++ THE BIOMETRIK SOLUTION
Sperm + Egg = Baby.
That was the archetypal equation, but we have further advanced this process. Scientific advances over the past forty years has allowed us to magnify the potential of each sperm and egg. We can now produce 128 identical twins from one egg! Fertilisation occurs in our facilities, far away from our utopian societies. We have the ability to manipulate a child's genetics in order to thoughtfully plan out his or her life for its full extent. We consider such control the definitive marvel of our era.
Sexual reproduction is no longer a necessity. Sexual intercourse, thereby, is only performed for purposes of pleasure. Advances in virtual reality has also lowered actual flesh to flesh intercourse count, which has led to a decrease in sexually transmitted diseases. One now has to worry about the price of a virtual sex machine instead of the contraction of diseases or if the contraception will not work properly. We also provide novices with computer assistance during virtual sex. One needs not to worry about not performing optimally anymore! Intercourse now is always pleasurable for both sexes. We have games that can be played, scenarios that can be provided, and many other options in order to make the experience totally customisable and completely satiable.
We are also developing an artificial intelligence entity. Soon, we will not have to worry about fertilising on a consistent basis. We will have entities of artifical intelligence at our feet to do our daily chores for us. In addition, we are almost done completing research on what may be the epitome of medical technology: nanobots! These so called nanobots will be diverged into the bloodstream of every newborn. As the children grow, these nanobots, which each contain of chipsets and transistors with an infinitesimally small size, will adapt to the bodily functions of the child. In time, these nanobots will take care of any pain or disease or deficiency that is present in the person. Even the state of mind will be relaxed, depression and anxiety made extinct, and an overall feeling of contentment felt.
Speaking of the state of mind, we also would like to show you our newest research topic: digitrans-terrainal tele-cognitive research. What is this exactly? Well, just like fiber optic cables from the olden days, we hope to connect human minds from thousands of miles away by linking the neural pathways via a digital frequency. This is unprecendented in the history of man. If we succeed, telecommunicating will no longer be a hardship. You plug in your neural cord to a little phone line digital conductor and dial up a number, not unlike the ancient phones. In a millisecond, you can connect to a friend thousands of miles away!
In the end, nature may limit science, but that does not mean science cannot bend and stretch its boundaries.
SOURCE: 1999.06.03: Neo-Synthetik Societies, Dequinix.com 1.0 / Obsidian in Amber 2. |
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